Restlessness

  (Short adaptation from my earlier published article on my earlier blog space, republished from medium.com)

 

Restlessness — This month’s topic too came during my recent meditation session with a heartfulness trainer. So I hope you would like too, to explore this topic which most of us seem to fall into during different life context these days. More important you might agree with me, if you were caught in this feeling of late, is how it impacts us, especially immediately or during that day and we either start to dread this feeling or look forward to the next bout when it might hit us.

The meaning of this term as per Oxford dictionary:

noun: restlessness: the state of being unable to stay still or be happy where you are, because you are bored or need a change

adjective: restless: unable to stay still or be happy where you are, because you are bored or need a change

Sometimes, there is no anxiety or boredom, but we begin to feel restless.

But the actual state during the restless phase could start with a very active mind. Thinking either of good or bad, but brooding about some or many things, trying to define or identify a problem, it’s causation and the mind correlating with other thoughts. Slowly after a while — when no end in sight — at a particular point mind wanting to come out of the state by brooding over solutions to those problem or preventing them. Eventually this can then lead us further into a restless mind ultimately seeking rest, but not finding it and ending up in intense state of rest-less-ness.

Typical ways we deal with such situation or rather trigger these behaviour:

►► Showing irritation and anger in every small conversation

►►Trying to explain in detail to another and not wanting to listen to those offering help

►►With no end in sight, impacting us even in trivial matters, get into a feeling of guilt

►►To help divert and forget, provide food to our senses — eat or drink more, at odd hours, watching entertainment and media and indulging in more sensual activities.

►► A depressive mindset leading to seclusion and wanting to be alone

►► Or faking a superficial life hiding the inner restlessness

►► A vicious circle of such actions and mindset

Can we avoid certain pitfalls? Is there a way to sail out of it smoothly? Or let it pass?

Yes and No. It is probably a matter of trial and error, and an attitude to learn over time. The trick is to know when to ‘just let-go’ and ‘decide to move ahead’ in a moment (that does come) to crystalize into a definite way out, at many a times beyond the problem-solution space.

Depending upon our mental strength we handle such times of restlessness, to learn and grow. Restlessness is a sign. A sign of needing to change, to grow, triggering from inner a self of ours which our conscious mind has not yet come to acknowledge. Restlessness is a good sign, therefore.

Equipping ourselves with self-help tools to strengthen our mind in a natural way will aid this process.

If we consider ourselves as comprising of three components — physical, mental or emotional, and spiritual– each of them has their own speed of change, growth and a process of becoming. When one of them senses a need to change, while the other is yet to catch-up, it creates a restless feeling in the other. Any change needs to be accepted wholeheartedly for us to benefit from the change. So, we must be unified within when change happens, to avoid an inner turmoil. Nature provides helping hand in the process of change at different scales — be it simple adaptations to the surroundings, to a process of growth and becoming, or in evolution and transformation at large.

This is a self-science! Most of us would have observed in our own way and allowed the process of change or have stunted growth during different phases in our lives. Hence, we either start to dread this feeling or look forward to the next bout when it might hit us, allowing ourselves to define the limits of our growth.

Some thoughts quotes and anecdotes to ruminate about which can help train our intuition:

In the book ‘The Alchemist’, by Paulo Coelho, in one of the chapters, the boy had lost his money and started cleaning crystal glasses in a shop for some returns. After he cleaned the glasses, the shop merchant tells him: “You didn’t have to do any cleaning…The Koran requires me to feed a hungry person”. The boy is puzzled and asks:” Well then, why did you let me do it?”

The merchant replies: “Because the crystal was dirty. And both you and I needed to cleanse our minds of negative thoughts.”

A simple act of cleaning an exterior glassware helped an internal cleansing to move past a situation. If you had read the book, you would know that this was a moment of change for both the boy and the merchant.

Sometimes an intense yearning for something also produces restlessness. The Hindi word ‘Tadap’ also means yearning or restlessness. In seeking love or spiritual goal, the word ‘tadap’ is used and often praised as it propels oneself towards the goal. Such restlessness often is an inner state and goes along with a state of peace. Swami Vivekananda’s in one of his famous quote said “Arise, awake, and rest not till the goal is reached” (repeating the phrase from Upanishad). Shri Ram Chandra (Babuji), in his book ‘Reality at Dawn’, mentions: “It may look strange at the very face of it when I ask you to cultivate the very thing we want to do away with but it is the only way to achieve sure and speedy success. The restlessness thus created is temporary and different in character from the ordinary restless condition of the mind. It is finer and more pleasant. It creates an inlet in our heart for the divine current to flow in and smoothens our passage .. if you thrust a man into the water, you find that he makes desperate efforts to free himself from your grip. It is only because of his impatience to get out of water at once, increases his force of effort and he does not rest till he is out of water…”

The famous Sufi mystic Rumi wrote — “I seem restless, but am deeply at ease. Branches tremble; the roots are still.”

May all be at peace!